Twenty-two pockets I wore that day
Which anyone would have to say
Is quite a large number of pockets to wear
A pocket for everything, and a few to spare.
Wearing that many pockets is quite a chore
But that’s what I needed in the great outdoors
For a day of hunting in the mountain west
Pockets in pants, shirt, jacket, and vest.
Keys in one, to open my truck
And a walkie-talkie in case I get stuck
A flashlight with batteries to light my way
For when it gets dark, at the end of the day.
Some rope, a lighter, and a pack of gum
Tissue paper—I might need some.
I keep a pen and pad to write lines like these
When I’m sitting with my elbows on my knees.
Wallet, knife, and snacks to eat,
Gloves for my hands, extra socks for my feet.
Shades for my eyes, against the sun
And in special loops, shells for my gun.
A compass and other random stuff
You’d think that ought to be enough.
But all those pockets let me down
When my phone was nowhere to be found.
I took everything out of my truck,
Piled it on the ground, but I had no luck
My cousin Rod and Sandy his wife
Said look in your vest, said it more than twice.
I drove up the mountain, a 10-mile back-track
To where I’d taken pictures of a cougar track
But of my Samsung phone I found no trace
So I drove back down, egg still on my face.
My wife said I’ll call it, so you can hear it ring
And my face lit up, that would be the thing.
But that would be, as we’re often told,
Too good to be true–it was on airplane mode.
Oh, I searched high and low, looked everywhere
I had been that day, but it just wasn’t there.
It was third down and 10, time to punt.
So I gave up looking, went back out to hunt.
As the sun went down my hands grew chill
While I was looking for elk on the side of a hill.
Into a handwarmer pocket in the side of my vest
I stuck my left hand—you can guess the rest.
What’s this, it must be a miracle phone–
It was here all the time, I said with a groan.
That day would have been so much more fun
If I’d searched twenty-two instead of just twenty-one.
Every silver lining has a darksome cloud
So forever my cousins get to say out loud–
In fact I doubt they’ll let it rest—
You should listen when we tell you, check your vest.
Garry Breland 